My 24 hours Tragedy

All my life I wanted to be special… to be loved and cared for. I have searched for Mr. Right and thought of finding him when I met you… you were my soul mate, my destiny but not for long after you broke my heart.

You were heading towards me with a smile on your face… so sweet that I felt like melting. Then you took me away from the crowd and told me that you have something to tell me. My heart was banging.... its thumps were so loud that I hardly hear the noise around us. You were holding my hand so tight and I wanted that moment not to end. Then you took me into the old library. You started talking. Our eyes met and the beat of my heart was louder than ever. 
“I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a long time but the timing was never perfect. Celine, I need you… will you please help me with your bestfriend Isabelle? I am madly in love with her… will you help me?”

My world tumbled down unto my feet. I did not knew what to do when I heard those words came out from his mouth… how silly of me to make myself believe that he loved me. Who am I for him to love when I’m just one of those freaky geeks who knew nothing but paint and draw while he is the campus crush and a lot of beautiful college girls’ crowd over him? Everything he told me in the morning is still fresh in my mind and I can’t help but cry everytime I remember it. I am desperate to forget him and to move on with my life so I’m giving myself 24 hours to forget…. And the timer starts now 3:13 in the afternoon, Thursday, November 30. 

I didn’t notice how time ran so fast. I am now sitting by the veranda 4:00 in the afternoon. If has been 47 minutes since I gave myself 24 hours to forget him. Tears slowly tumble from my eyes as I stared at the school paper’s issue where he and his teammates are being featured. His face was so warm and so calm as if he was really alive and looking at me. How could I be so dumb to expect much from him and assume that he likes me too? I am determined to forget him and I’m sure 24 hours would be more than enough for me to do it. 
I then left the veranda and head towards my room. I got my log and wrote every detail that had happened in the morning. My hand was shaking together with my hearts refusal of what had happened. I made myself believe that it was just a nightmare even though I knew that it was for real.

8:32 p.m., after eating dinner I directly head towards my room. I took my pen and a piece of paper from my table and started writing down the things I must do for tomorrow. These things will keep my Saturday morning busy and this could be my way to forget him.

7:00- wake up and start the day with the smile (no time for mourning; happiness is a decision… I think so)
8:00-9:00 – exhaust myself with biking (ONLY ME AND MY BIKE!!!)
9:00- 11:00 – go visit the library or the internet cafe (spend time reading till my eyes surrender or surf the net, I need to learn things out)
11:00- 12:00 – draw, paint, and sketch till my hands admit defeat (no one would even mind…)
12:00- 1:30 – crush the diet and eat till drop… (I’ll eat everything I want to eat… NO ONE CAN INTERFERE)
1:30- 3:13 – scroll in the mall (WHATEVER!!!!) 
3:13 - I’m definitely over him (I PROMISE)

After writing my schedule for the next day, I knelt down with tears asking strength and guidance from God. I can’t brag on what had happened. Life must go on; it ought to. I then slept and prepared myself for the next day.
Saturday morning came and as scheduled I woke up at exactly 7:00 in the cock-crow. For an hour I took things in a swift. I ate my breakfast, tidied the house, clean myself up and took my bike out with me. It was already 8:15 when I left but the 15 minutes delay won’t do me harm and still I’m sticking up with my schedule. 
I had a great time with my bike. I toured the whole subdivision and realized that I could have not enveloped my place if I was not heartbroken. But eventhough I had great time, still Darwin is in my mind. I keep telling myself that I will make it and by the end of the day I’ll be back to my real self. 
9:03 when I reached the library to start digging down books and surf the net. I find the books so irritating because mostly of them were about love with happy endings which I didn’t feel like reading. Yeah, yeah, yeah…why does it all have to be happy endings when those things only exist on books? So I continued stepping myself on to the internet café. Exploring the net wasn’t so much fine because I had no idea about any topic that would interest me so I just killed the time playing computer games. Gunbound, ragnarok, crazy taxi, battle realms, pangya… those are just a few of the games which made me release my stress. Even the silliest games made me extend my hours in playing and erase my supposed to be drawing session. Well at least I was able to forget him in my little ways.
It was 12:30 when I left the internet café. I proceed to the mall to eat every kind of food I wish to eat even if it might cause my savings. I was on the pizza parlor, taking my line for my order when a tap was felt on my back. It was Isabelle and guess what; he was with Darwin; just how destiny plays games with me. I flashed them both a smile. I was irritated but I need not show it to both of them. 
We were done with our orders so the three of us chose to sit down on the table located by the end corner of the pizza parlor. It was a comfy area, away from people passing and with an overlooking view by the garden located outside the mall. I wasn’t comfortable with them, Just how the both of them ruined my schedule which made me doubt whether I’ll make it or not. The confidence I had in me was shaken whenever I see their eyes meet. Of all the thousands of people I could see why would then it be the both of them? Everything is starting to get ruined. Doubt had cloaked me in silence without even asking my approval. I wanted to send myself out from their sight but I don’t want to be mean. Sometimes we just have to forget self respect in able for us to spare other people.
It was 2:00 when we left the store. Isabelle invited me to come with them. I wanted to say no but I know it would only disappoint my bestfriend so I had no choice but to come. I was walking behind them all the time because I didn’t crave to interfere in their moment. Eventhough Isabelle asked me to come; I know she wants to spend more time with Darwin. It was only yesterday when Darwin asked me to help him out with Isabelle but after all he never needed me because he was able to do it in his own. 
Seeing them both happy was great pain in me. In their eyes I see that in the little time they spent they were complete and it made me realize that I am really defeated even before the battle begun.
It was 3: 05 when we started walking out the mall. I was still walking behind them. Darwin would look back seldom than Isabelle does, but every look he gave to me brings joy in my heart. 8 minutes more before 3:13 but still I am not through him… 
We were about to cross the street when I saw an overhauling car from behind. The car was about to hit Isabelle if I wasn’t able to push her and caught the car for myself. The next thing that happened was vague.
I found myself inside the ambulance when I woke up. Isabelle was holding my hand, crying for my misfortune. Darwin was seated opposite her… he was saying something but I couldn’t hear it. I tried to read the words from his mouth but everything was blurry. 
I’m tired and I know God is about to take me. 3:13 is through but I have failed myself because I’m not yet through him. My love for him has bargained my life. But despite all, I’m still glad because I was able to save my bestfriend and the girl he loves… at least he won’t be crying much. And now I could finally say it’s finally over.





Our true identity is to love without fear and insecurity. Our higher potential finds us when we set our course in that direction. The power of love and compassion transforms insecurity. 

Doc Childre