I slowly opened my eyes as I adjust to the brightness of the light. I can still feel the aching in my body as I move my hand to feel my existence. Where am i? What happened? I was about to stood up from the bed where I am situated with my eyes still half closed when someone held my shoulder to assist me – my brother. He was stopping me from doing what I was supposedly to do. I asked him what happened and where I am as of the moment. I was listening to him intently as the pain of the accident comes back to life.
I was on a quest, on an attempt to forget the person I love. It was a 24-hours countdown I gave myself which ended with an accident. I realized that I was so stupid because I have loved him even on the instance when I am supposed to hate him. I saved the life of the girl who captured his heart… and his happiness was tantamount to my every pain. But maybe love is really like that, trying to make the one you love happy even if it means putting you out of the picture.
Kuya said I’ve been unconscious for days but the doctor said I’m slowly recovering. I hope so… maybe physically I will, but emotionally it would surely take time.
It was around 11:26 in the morning when three bangs on the door were heard. First came Isabelle who felt really sorry for my misfortune, followed by Darwin whom in his eyes is seen a heart filled with so much gratitude.
Isa rushed towards me as she held my hand. She kept on saying sorry as she asks me what I’m currently feeling. In my heart, how I wished I could tell her how I am aching inside… that I‘d rather had chosen to die instead of living in lies. But then the best answer was just a smile, a smile which could mean to her that everything is gonna’ be fine. Darwin was just looking at me. At times our eyes would meet as I then hurriedly move my sight to another direction. Everytime I look at him, I can’t help but lose my defenses… I keep falling over and over again.
Isa’s phone rang that she went outside the room to answer the call. In her absence, I was left alone with Darwin who is seated by the bench positioned opposite to my bed. He started talking to break the silence.
“You terrified us.” He said
I took a deep breath as I gave an answer, “I have to… that was the best thing to do.”
I then move my body as I turned around to avoid seeing him as I continue with my speech, “if I was the one in Isabelle’s position, and if you were the one in mine, would you do the same thing?”
Then there was silence. All that was heard was the exchange of our breathing. Droplets of water were slowly falling from my eyes as loneliness illuminate the room at a snail’s pace. I ain’t sure if he understood what I was implicitly telling him, all I knew is that I am still hurting.
***
Days have passed and I’m back to my old self… away from the smell and gloomy feeling of my hospital room. I’m back to school and people were glad that I am. They have been very curious, asking me the same question again and again. And just like any memorized piece, I kept saying the same speech monotonously.
My club mates were the ones worried the most. They even act overly as they glue me on one place, forbidding me to do what I am supposedly to do for the club. “Don’t do this… Don’t do that… don’t worry Celine we can manage… just sit still…” blah blah blah! Now that was more tiresome. And the funny thing is that they appointed Glenn to become my personal assistant until I fully recover.
On the other hand, If I am one tasked to do the visuals of the publication, Glenn is the one assigned for the sports section. He is in his junior years like me. He joined the publication team, three months after I did. I am not really that close to him. All I knew about him are the little facts which are not new or hidden to anyone. If not for what had happened to me weeks ago, I may not have had the chance to knowing this guy I have always been with in the team.
It’s so akward having Glenn around. Being so silent, I get so intimidated with him. Why do they have to guard me like I’m a baby or well at least why Glenn when we’re not even friends. He even gives me chills whenever he stabs me with his stares… weird Glenn.
The adjustment stage with Glenn around was quite difficult and annoying but after a few days, I started getting used with it. We were not really that close but he was very patient doing the errands that are supposedly mine. I wish to offer him a little help but he only answers me with a smile.
***
Right after class, as I put my notes back to my bag and as people slowly emptied the room, I noticed Isa. She was just on her chair, silent and doodling on her notes. I called her to ask if she wants company out. She just looked at me and then looked away. I knew something is wrong and something’s badly bothering her so I sat on the chair adjacent to hers. I started asking questions which might be the cause of the murky mood… about her family, about school and finally about Darwin.
As I mentioned Darwin’s name, Isa started crying as she told me that they broke up last night for unclear reasons. I stood from where I am situated as I move towards Isa to give her a hug. I should be happy because Darwin is finally free- my chances of having the man I have wanted all my life have amplified. But then I can’t. I feel so sorry for my bestfriend… I didn’t care about Darwin... I cared more about Isa.
***
I was at the clubhouse, eyes closed and with my earphones attached to my ear, silently thinking of what could have happened. Why was it so sudden? They seemed to be both in love with each other back then. I was so engrossed with what I was thinking that I didn’t notice Glenn’s arrival. I almost fell off my chair as Glenn’s face welcomed me as I opened my eyes – just about inches away from mine. His brows meet as he curiously gaze at me. I was shocked as his dark brown eyes met mine. I have never looked at him this close and have never realized how beautiful he is. My face was hot, I realized that I was blushing.
I broke the thing off as I stood from my chair and started talking. His eyes are still glued on me, following me with a serious look.
“So what do you think you’re doing?” I asked him with my hands clasped together.
“Looking at you?” he answered me as he ends it with a smile
I looked at him as he looked at me. There was silence… and then the room was filled with our laughter.
***
Glenn has been my constant companion since I got back to school. I never really expected that I’ll like him. He was just once a shadow passing by my table at the clubhouse. But now, he’s company has been always wanted. I never really thought that we’ll become good friends. But fate was good to me… the accident suddenly became a blessing in disguise.
My free time was filled with chatting and I suddenly became interested with Sports. Having Glenn around, I get to have fresh inside scoops about the school’s status with regards to Sports plus I get to include their bloopers in my comic section. Glenn was a very interesting man. He’s not just good looking but he’s also smart. Well added to his being patient when he became my personal assistant.
I’m actually doing fine now. I have recovered from the accident but still not sure ‘bout what I’m feeling with Darwin. Well I’m getting a lot of information about him from Glenn but then it was no longer much of a thing to me. If it had been weeks ago then maybe I’d care more… but I have to admit it, I still have a liking for him. Maybe I am just overwhelmed with the attention Glenn has given me that I am forgetting Darwin ones in a while. I am even still curious about what he was telling me while we were inside the ambulance. When they were rushing me to the hospital he was saying something, something vague to me until now.
I was about to do something at my table, starting my thing for the arts when Stephanie called from behind. She was playing with her hair with both his legs on the table as she looks at the ceiling counting the nails tucked. She interrupted her moment as she said.
“Remember the basket ball player named Darwin, Celine?” she asked,
I just looked at her and smiled as she continued her talking. “Well he dropped by two hours ago and said that he’ll be waiting for you at the soccer field.”
I just smiled until what Stephanie said fully registered in my mind. “Oh Shit. Two hours ago? why did no one ever tell me?” I took a sip on my cola as I hurriedly ran towards the soccer field. Two hours is too much… and why could he be looking for me? Is it something to do with Isa? Thoughts came rushing in but I still am not sure what’s really going on. In normal conditions, it takes me ten minutes to reach the field from the club house, but now? With the adrenaline rushing through my veins, I miraculously did it in six minutes. I was still catching my breath as I reached the field. Darwin was still there…waiting under the shade of a tree. He stood up to meet me as he saw me approaching.
As we meet, he positioned himself at my back. I am still baffled until a glittering lace fell at my neck. The necklace was beautiful and my heart almost jumped with what he just did. I turned around to look at him as our eyes met.
Then in a sudden, teardrops from heaven fell as the dusk slowly enveloped the earth. We were soaked wet. I didn’t know what I was actually feeling. Everything was all mixed up. But in the parade of emotions, one has risen above the others. I lifted my hands to unlock the necklace as I took it away from my neck. I returned it to Darwin. After what had happened, something became clear to me. I am finally free. I kissed Darwin at the cheek and said goodbye to him as I then ran to a familiar figure carrying an umbrella, waiting for me from afar.
<3 LAE 05/09/10
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